So… How Does Therapy Actually Work?

Starting counselling often comes with a lot of questions — many of which people don’t always know how to ask.

How often should I come?
What is this supposed to look like?
How do I know if it’s helping?
Am I doing this “right”?

If you’re wondering about any of these things, you’re not alone.

Therapy isn’t something you need to prepare for or be good at. It’s a space to slow things down, make sense of what’s been weighing on you, and figure out — together — what feels supportive and workable in your life right now. There’s no single right way for this process to look.

How Often Do People Come to Therapy?

This varies widely.

Some people begin with weekly sessions for a period of time. Others come every other week, or in shorter bursts around something specific. Some people take breaks and return later when life shifts again.

There’s no expectation that therapy follow a fixed schedule. We can talk openly about pacing, frequency, and what feels sustainable — and we can adjust over time. Therapy is meant to support your life, not add pressure to it.

What Are Early Sessions Like?

Early sessions are often about getting oriented.

This can include talking about what’s bringing you in now, noticing patterns or stressors, and getting a sense of what feels helpful — and what doesn’t. It’s also a time to build safety and trust in the space.

It’s important to know that therapy can sometimes bring you closer to emotions or experiences you’ve been managing, avoiding, or carrying quietly for a long time. As a result, some people notice feeling heavier, more tender, or emotionally stirred up at points in the process.

This doesn’t mean something has gone wrong. Often, it means you’re beginning to turn toward things that matter, and that can come with discomfort before relief or clarity arrives. The goal of therapy isn’t to bypass or ignore difficult feelings, but to build the capacity to stay with them in a way that feels more supported and manageable over time.

Coping tools, insight, and relief tend to develop alongside this process, rather than instead of it.

Talking About the Process Is Part of Therapy

You’re always welcome to check in about how things are going. And in my practice I regularly ask my clients what is shifting, what needs attention or if we need to move in a new direction.

For you, that might look like sharing what feels helpful, naming what isn’t landing, or wondering out loud about pace, focus, or whether this feels like the right fit. These conversations aren’t a problem — they’re part of the work.

Therapy is most effective when it’s collaborative and responsive to your experience.

Pausing, Ending, and Returning

People use therapy in different ways at different times in their lives.

Some come for a specific chapter, some stay longer, and some pause and return later. If you decide to take a break or stop, that’s okay. You’re welcome to reconnect in the future if therapy feels useful again. There’s no obligation to continue beyond what feels supportive for you.

A Final Thought

If you’re considering counselling or psychotherapy, it’s okay not to know exactly what you need yet. Often, the first step is simply starting the conversation and letting clarity emerge over time.