Navigating burnout? Reflecting on values can set a new path.

Exhausted. Irritable. Anxious. Unmotivated. These are some of the calling cards of burnout. Money. Relationships. Illness. Work stress. Caregiving. These are some of the experiences that can lead to burnout. These are not exhaustive lists, but they start to paint a picture of symptoms and circumstances that feed into each other, building what can feel like a relentless loop.

When stress is high, the body and mind look for ways to adapt. However, prolonged stress, the kind that keeps our nervous system at peak levels, starts to sap energy from other important functions in the body, not to mention adding to what we call a high cognitive load. It’s at this point that the body and mind start waving the white flag and asking for attention and care. But when we’re saddled with big responsibilities, daily demands and stressful environments stepping away or slowing down might seem unrealistic. In fact, there might be a fear that the situation will even get worse if we step away. Have you ever taken a vacation thinking the break would restore you, but instead it did the opposite?

If you’re looking for short-term coping you can do breathing exercises, a scientifically proven way to support and regulate the nervous system. You can cut back on screen time, lots of solid data here that doing so can help improve sleep. You can go for a walk or a run, a really helpful way to boost dopamine and serotonin. But these options, while healthy and recommended, might start to feel more like a bandaid solution or just another thing you have to do, instead of addressing the culprit.

Reflecting on your values offers a different way forward.

Whoever you are, and whatever your situation is, you’re the expert in your life. And when I work with clients who are seeking tools to “cope better”, what we inevitably work our way towards is values. What are the guiding principles that support and sustain the core of who you are? How do your values help inform important decisions, or support you in prioritizing what matters? 

Burnout tends to erode access to these parts of ourselves. Survival mode puts our brain into a state of being focused on managing the basics. When we’re thriving, it’s a different story. We have much greater capacity for deeper reflection and intuition building that helps guide the trajectory of our lives. When absent it’s a lot like being in the wilderness with no compass, or water, or food or the right clothing.

So where am I going with this? I get it. Money needs to be made, and diapers need to be changed. There are certain realities that are unavoidable. Certain tasks and responsibilities that just need to be done. However, like any change, it begins with taking that first small step. In this case it’s asking yourself what are your values? So grab a pen and see what spills out.

For example, if community is a core value, you can ask how that is present in your life right now? Are you a parent or caregiver who feels isolated, and feels pressure to do things alone? Is that belief serving you? Or perhaps accountability is important to you. Does this value feel present in your work? Do the people around you share the burden of responsibility? What does valuing health mean to you? When someone asks you to take on a project or show up at an event, can your inner wisdom support you in making a health-based decision that first checks your energy, joy or bandwidth, rather than an automatic yes?

Core human stuff.

You can start to see where I’m going with this. Definitely no quick fixes here. This is a deeper kind of work that is like excavating and doing some necessary reflection to build the foundation of ourselves. It can also be existential, meaning it can touch on an innate sense of our impermanence. That might bring up questions like, am I living in a way that feels authentic to me? Can I look back at my life and feel good about how I showed up and what I did? Or was life crafted to appear nice on the outside, but felt terrible inside. 

So yes, burnout. Have I covered every conceivable aspect, certainly not. But I hope this stirs something helpful. The experience can either feel like a neverending loop, or become a pathway that leads you back to parts of yourself you’ve been missing — or the chance to discover new ones. If you decide to follow this path, remember, it’s never linear, smooth or clear. But when followed the growth that takes place along the way can become reenergizing, life affirming, joyful and maybe even calming.